Details, Details, Details

I am constantly amazed at the amount of details that have to be planned before I can actually invite someone to consider being part of this new church venture.  I have finally worked up a web site that I can actually update with very little frustration or confusion.  Thanks to my brother and his wife, it is not only an informative site but also very attractive and interactive.  They are both so much smarter than me in the ways of technology.  I also have business cards now telling people who we are and how to reach us!  I have had so many conversations these last few months where people have asked me for a card.  The reality is that you can't have a card until you have the details to put on the card.  So I have secured the details-web site, phone number, email address, twitter account, etc.  It seems as if  communication has become more instantaneous and more complicated. 
The other details necessary for communication are even more important.  I have read many things, gone to congregation development training and had hundreds of conversations about what kind of church we would like to be and where we see God calling us.  Then in order to communicate this discernment, articulating it in a way that will not bore people to tears, I have written the text for our website trying to help people understand. 
Also, my blog is moving to the website and the facebook page will be deleted and moved to one connected to the website.  I have had technical difficulties getting it to move.  Two of my posts have not appeared anywhere so I came back to what I know how to use!  I have also learned in this process to copy my postings to a document so when they are lost I can retrieve them.  Details, details, details.  Sometimes they can be the thing that get between us and God.  And sometimes they can be the catalyst that help someone find a relationship with God. 
Just in case you want to see our work!  We are about 85% finished and we have a few place holders for photos to be taken in the future. www.http://livingwatertulsa.com

Not The ONLY

There have been times in my life when I have been so thankful to be "not the only _______".  For me it has been not the only tall girl, white person, female, mission minded person, person in jeans, etc.  I know that this is a feeling everyone has about whatever their circumstance.  As a girl at fourteen years of age, who was six feet tall, I was thankful that their was a girl named Jaime who was a Senior in my high school.  Even though we weren't really friends and seldom spoke, I took great comfort in the fact that she was also super tall.  Because I was not the only insanely tall girl in a high school of 500 people. 
Last weekend I was blessed to spend time with people from all over the country who have started new churches, new communities of faith and new ministries.  I could hear their stories and ask them questions and they recognized where my questions were coming from without me having to explain.  It was so nice and it helped my spirit reenergize about starting the new community that I have hoping for.  Yesterday, I met a pastor in the area whose church is only 12 years old and he offered to spend time with me and I am elated.  Being the only of something can be extremely lonely.  I have missed my wonderful friends who I have made over the last 6 years at my previous church.  I have doubted why I agreed to do this in the first place. 
But I know that God has a hand and a plan for this new church.  I find myself muttering "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  This verse has helped me push through some of the fear of rejection as I visit with new people about what we are trying to do.  As I drove home from the conference I attended, I was filled with ideas and inspiration and it got me home without any sleepiness.  God even blessed with with a contact to follow up with who lives in Glenpool and her sister was my waitress in St. Louis. 

Field of Dreams

My family just returned from a family reunion on my cheesehead husband's side.  The weather in Wisconsin was lovely but they all kept complaining about how hot it was there!  It got up to 90 degrees!  For those of us living in Oklahoma, in the hottest summer on record, 90 degrees was a wonderfully cool experience.  At night it even got down to 57 degrees and we had to use a blanket.  It was so nice to remember what normal weather felt like. 
On the way home, we decided to drive through Dyersville, Iowa to see the Field of Dreams baseball field.  We discovered that the family farm where this movie was shot had been sold to some investors who will be building a baseball/softball mecca.  We thought it was important to see it while the corn still surrounded it and it resembled the humble place that was depicted in the movie.  The information on the sign taught us that 64,000 people came to this small family farm every year to see the place where the movie had been located.  Which begs the question why?  What is it about that movie that draws people?
From memory, I would have to say because it is a movie about second chances.  Every character, in one way or another, finds healing through the building of this baseball field where miraculously people bridge between heaven and earth.  One of the most famous lines in the movie is "Is this heaven?  No it's Iowa."  The cast of characters are from all kinds of backgrounds and are drawn- in a way that makes no sense at all- to this field.  And the fact that this field was built at all is a miracle.  The man who owns the farm is getting calls from the bank.  The whole town thinks he is crazy.  But he builds it anyway and miraculous things start to happen.  He listens to the still small voice who compells him to act. 
As a pastor who has been asked to start a new church in an area that is full of churches, I identify with this man.  It seems crazy to take the risk, to begin when more people are leaving churches than joining them, to start with nothing and hope for everything, to trust that still small voice that has compelled to me try.  But so many things have come together in a way that can only be explained by accepting that the Holy One has a plan that- how can I not try?  Probably the most famous line of this movie is, "If you build it, they will come."  I hope that as we build a community of faith, that people will find it a place of second chances, have moments that feel like miracles and heal in their relationship with their Creator.  Our field of dreams is right here.   

Surprises

Two things have surprised me regularly in this process of starting a new church.  The first is the loneliness. As someone who has always been part of a church community, the isolation has surprised me.  Yes, I have been meeting new people and have enjoyed hearing their stories but those relationships are new.  I have worked by getting up and going to a building full of people who collaborate with me and are there for feedback and laughter for the last six years.  Now I have to make myself get dressed and leave the house everyday with a new agenda of meeting people and getting my work done.  I have found myself feeling close the the people who check me out in a restaurant or store because they have been nice to me in their job of customer service.  That's when I realized how lonely I was.  My new community is small and we don't yet have the consistency of a weekly worship service.  My friends are new and we haven't developed the depth of relationship that will come yet and  I am missing my old friends and colleagues.  None of my training mentioned this aspect of the new church start so it surprised me. My daughter's cat has tried to comfort me.  No matter where I sit in our house, he follows me and lays near by or demands my attention by laying on the keyboard or book I am trying to use.  I am having to check myself for cat hair before I can leave the house now.
The other thing that has surprised me is the people who have reached out and contacted me about a person who lives in my area.  I have had phone calls, emails and cards from people who want to tell me about a person they know who I should reach out to.  I have actually started a file for the information so I can be intentional about making sure I follow up with every one.  I even knocked on the door of someone's home who did not know I was coming because all I had been given was an address for the lead.  It reminds me of dating, which I haven't done in 20 years, because of the constant potential for rejection.   In this process, I have met some lovely and wonderful people.  I have to rely on God's plan and purpose for this church and push through my fears.  It is an amazing journey that is defiantly not for everyone.  

Young Voices

I sit here surrounded by the youth in Okmulgee serving as Youth Force 2012. I came into this week straight off of a week of church camp. It is hard to explain to someone who hasn't had the joy of camping or serving with a group of teenagers who love Jesus how invigorating it is. The energy of young people is amazing and to have it directed at growing in their faith is a wonder to experience. I think we have to ask how we manage to have such amazing youth ministry that doesn't grow into young adults of faith. We have been using a model of youth ministry that claims success when we get big enough to move our youth into their own building with their own worship service. But what message does that send to our youth? We seperate them from the rest of the church and teach them that the "main building" doesn't have anything of relevance for them. We graduate them out of the youth program and wonder why they don't go back to the place that we have implicitly taught them has no meaning for their lives. We then wonder why they go to churches that have worship that reminds them of their youth program. This is a pattern we have to change if we want to engage young adults in our churches. If we want our youth to grow into lifetime disciples, we have to be willing to allow the entire church to respond to their needs and build relationships that span the generations. At my most previous church, one of the most meaningful things we did was connect our 7th graders to adults through a mentoring program. Both the adults and the youth are transformed by the conversations about their faith. Relationships are nurtured that never would have happened if we had taken the youth out of the main church. As we grow a new church, we have to find ways to be in conversation with the young voices in our community. We have to be willing to take young people seriously and actually listen to what they have to say. The church needs the young voices of every generation to walk boldly forward in faith, to be relevant as a voice in the wilderness. I challenge you, to start something new, something that speaks to people of every age, and takes the time to listen to the things of the heart, mind and soul that possibly could transform the world.

Vision Cook Out

Last Saturday night we had our first official gathering as a community called Living Water UMC!  We had 15 people gather in my home and share food and conversation.  The youth minister in me had everyone play the game Two Truths and A Lie.  The game is played by putting two facts about yourself and a lie on a 3x5 card.  The group tries to guess which person put in the card and then which item on the card is a lie.  We learned some amazing facts about each other.  Some of them were: who likes animals and who clearly does not (Jokes about eating our cat were made!), one of us was baptized in slimy green water at a church in Glenpool, Ashley's favorite food is jello but is jello really food?  It was a lovely evening and my prayer is that it was the beginning seed of who we will become.  I was asked that night where I got the name Living Water so I wanted to share that here.

After I was asked if I would be willing to start a church,  I went through a series of steps that included interviews, questions and a group evaluation.   During that time my husband and I tried to come up with a name and nothing seemed right..  After I was "officially" going to start a new church, my youth group, collegues, and friends all started coming up with names.  The funniest one was by a student who wanted to name it "Monkey Business UMC."  During our week of boot camp training, the need to name the church became glaringly important.  We had come up with some great names but if I googled them, they were already taken by people in the Tulsa area or the OK United Methodist community.  So as I went to bed one night, I said to God "I need help with this one.  I can't do it and you have to give me a name, please."  I went to sleep that night confidant that in the next few weeks that it would come to me if I was willing to listen.  About 2 am, my husband woke me with his snoring and I moved to the living room couch.  As soon as I laid down, it came to me "living water."  So I got up, hit the computer and didn't find a Living Water UMC in the entire state of Oklahoma.  I then did a Bible search of the words and discovered it is woven throughout the entire Bible.  I starting reading the woman at the well story and was drawn in to the perfection of how it fit my vision for the kind of church I wanted to start.  So that is how we became Living Water before we had ever met.

Mother's Eyes

I have been remiss in keeping this updated so I have a lot to catch up on today!  Last week my friend, Mike, lost his mother and I went to the funeral in Rogers, Arkansas.  The things that Mike said that day were so profound and moving that I feel the need to share them.  He read the things his mother had written in his last birthday card (she knew she was dying of her third type of cancer.)  She wrote about what a beautiful baby he had been, what a wonderful man and parent he had become and how much she loved him.  Mike talked about how he obviously wasn't perfect and that she saw him with a mother's love.  He then made the connection to how Jesus sees us with eyes full of love and a willingness to forgive when we fail to live up to our potential.  How beautiful!  To think of our creator viewing us with a mother's unfailing love and willingness to overlook our blemishes. As I/we create this new community of believers my hope is that they can experience this kind of love and we will have the courage to tell them.    

Throwing Out the Baby with the Bathwater

I had a conversation with a group of young adults this week where I used this old fashioned phrase "throwing out the baby with the bathwater."  I used it in reference to the arguments about worship-traditional versus contemporary.  Traditional worship connects us to music, ritual and people who have been part of the church since Jesus first offered the last supper or washed the disciples feet.  My very musical, pretty hip cousin once articulated that the reason he likes hymns is that they feel connected to the people of the 14th century and they help him be part of something bigger than this time and this place.  I had never considered this before and hadn't really appreciated that connection to the early church.  (Which is surprising considering how much I love history.)
I once read a story about a man who suffered a tragedy and in his shock found that his only words were that of the Apostles Creed.  (The Apostles Creed is an early statement of what people believe in the Christian tradition.)  He repeated them over and over again until he found the place where he could face his great loss.  His comfort came from the consistency of the beliefs, from the familiar and the ritual of the words.  People from the Catholic tradition advocate for the use of the rosary beads as steps in prayer that help them focus and remember what they want to pray for.  My best friend in high school let me accompany her to the Catholic church for Christmas Eve midnight mass and I always found it fascinating and beautiful.  I didn't know what all was going on around me but I recognized the sacredness in what they were doing.
But, as someone who was raised in a church that was very traditional, when I went to youth events or to church camp I was amazed at how the contemporary music moved my soul and helped me rejoice in my faith.  I found them energizing and charging of my spiritual battery.  I still feel that way about many of the praise and worship songs this day.  As I continue to visit churches in the area, I am amazed at how contemporary we have gone.  I went to a church today that had a light show with the music and it was so loud that it vibrated my chest.  It was energetic and very well done but it felt a lot like a concert to me.  I watched the music more than participated and I even knew the songs.  The sermon was excellant and the people responded to the service.  It is a growing congregation with a heart for Jesus but wasn't a place I could make my church home.  So I think there has to be a way we can have some ritual, hang a cross in our worship space and still be contemporary and relevant in what we are doing.  We have to find a way to hold on to the baby and get rid of the bathwater.  I am open to ideas and willing to take the risk of finding out if it can be done.

Simple Church

My youth ministry friend Stacie told me about a book that I should read called "Simple Church" that was written from the perspective of intentional discipleship without all the insaneness of programming exhaustion. I asked the question this week "When did church become such a burden on the family?" It seems that as we fill our calendars with really wonderful events, programming, classes and studies that we fail to realize that our most dedicated members will be worn out trying to come to all the things we have offered. And how many things do we do without any intentionality for spiritual growth? Yes, we should have things that are just for fun and yes we should have a variety but the reality is that trying to keep up with a fast paced entertainment culture is killing us. The church can not meet all the needs, of all the people, all the time. We need to find our thing that we do well (while growing spiritually and bringing people into relationship with Jesus) and just do that. And if someone wants a different type of program, study or experience we need to be okay saying that they should go down the street and find what they are looking for. Could simple be the new black?
Quote from the book: "To have a simple church, you must design a simple discipleship process. This process must be clear. It must move people toward maturity. It must be integrated fully into your church, and you must get rid of the clutter around it."

So why does simple sound so hard? "Imagine that your church is no longer just busy but is alive with ministries and activities that make a difference. Such is the simple church revolution." This gives me hope that starting a church from scratch might actually be easier than serving in an existing church. : ) http://www.facebook.com/#!/LivingWaterTulsa

My Books

In the last day and a half, I have gotten a bookshelf and chair from my parents antique store and started unpacking my office to my home.  Six boxes later, I am almost done.  As I organize my books, I have started opening some of them and reading things I highlighted or just drifting over a few paragraphs to remind me why I have the book.  It has been a beautiful and powerful journey of the spirit as I have been inspired by things I had forgotten or maybe hadn't ever noticed.  I have been reminded of ideas that I had been passionate about but never explored.  I have been challenged to consider what do I take with me into my new church plant.
You see, as I listen for what God has planned for this church I have had to filter out the voices coming from every direction with thier ideas and excitement.  I have had to dive into the Bible and spend time on my knees reflecting on what the church could be.  I have been given a monumental task of discerning how to create a church that speaks to people on the deepest level and offers them a place to find purpose for their lives.  I have been asked to do something that all statistics say is unnecessary and unwanted in a culture that is leaving the church in droves. 
I long to offer a place of holy grace to a people that are hurting-to create a culture of church that is more about love and less about judgement.  I want to offer authentic relationships and real conversation that isn't glossed over with an unchallenged truth.  I need to know that God has a plan to reach the community and change the world that isn't judged by how many people are counted in a worship service.
Where do I find people who will risk taking this step with me?

Healthy Churches

For the last couple of weeks, I have been visiting churches in the area on Sunday mornings for worship.  Other than when I first went to college, I have never had the opportunity to visit different churches.  I have always been volunteering in my home church so much that the opportunity to visit others wasn't an option.  It really is very interesting. 
The things I look for are signs of a healthy church.  For me, those signs are a diversity of people including age, race and ability.  I check to see if accomodations have been made to include people with mobility or disability issues.  I look for children and youth and if they are included in leadership in any way.  I check out the way people are dressed and how they relate to each other.  I watch who leads and what age, race, and sex they are.  I notice what kind of music is played and how the congregation participates. And I pay attention to how they treat me, a visitor. 
To be honest, the churches I have seen so far are doing very well.  They have hit all the healthy church signs and they seem to be a vibrant, loving congregaton.  The only weak spot could be that they don't engage me in any way.  Oh, they have smiled and shook my hand.  They have nodded and said welcome.  They have handed me information and sent me out with a blessing.  But no one has asked me my name or why I am there.
 To be honest, I am kind of relieved because I don't have to explain that I am a new pastor in the area sharing worship with everyone until I have my own services.  But I would think that someone would take the time to say, "Hey I don't know you.  Are you a visitor?"  I have to ask myself, what keeps them from asking?  Are they afraid?  Do they think I have been coming often and they just haven't noticed?  Are they hoping to visit with someone they know and I am just a "have to" handshake?  Do they worry they might offend me or seem too pushy?  If I had been seeking a place to be in relationship or needing a person to pray for and with me, wouldn't I have left still a stranger?
 I learned in seminary to have a name in a Biblical story is significant and shows status.  Because I have gone unnamed as I visit these churches, does that mean I have no significance?  Did I matter? Will my church be the same way?

Making Connections

Today I followed up with a lead from a man I met at a meeting in Tulsa.  He told me that his niece and her husband had just moved to the Glenpool area and were lifetime United Methodist.  He gave me thier address but not their phone number so I couldn't call ahead.  I went with the hope that he had called them and told them he had asked me to come by.  Which I discovered, he did not.  Cold calls are always a scary thing.  You have to steele your spine and as my friend Pete says "plow through the fear" with every expectation of being rejected.  But they were very nice and as soon as I mentioned the uncle's name, they opened their home to me.  They were definately life-long UM and mentioned names I had only heard from my grandparent's lips.  We shared a wonderful hour of visiting discovering that their daughter, like myself, had created programs in churches for people with disabilities.
 After I left, I was hit with a wave of grief for my grandparents.  They would have joyfully welcomed a stranger into their home just as this lovely couple had.  I cry now thinking of how deeply I miss them and how I wish I had their wisdom to draw upon as I try to build a church that reflects a love for all kinds of people. My mom and I call these waves of grief "sugar cookie moments."  The first time I allowed myself to really deeply grieve (you know that sobbing messy scare-people kind of grief) was when my daughter baked me my grandmother's sugar cookies as a surprise.  I unraveled.  It was time.  I had held myself together long enough and it was to be expected.  As a pastor, when someone you love dies, you are called upon to do the service.  So you hold yourself together and do the to-do list of things that are necessary.  Than your grief leaks out later at the most unexpected times.

In The Beginning

As I begin this journey into starting a new church, I am surprised by the mixed emotions that accompany this step.  The thought of creating a church is both thrilling and terrifying at the same time.  The opportunity for failure is great and the opportunity to be blessed in a way I never even imagined is even greater.  So many people are so hopeful and encouraging and others are fearful and threatened.  Opinions fly at me from every direction while I try to cast my eyes on what God has planned.  As I pray and read, I am ever drawn into a river of "have-to's" that want to carry me in their own direction.  Forms, more forms, and even more forms have to be completed without even having any idea who we are and where our place is yet.  Some days I feel complete by the contemplation and insight I have gained and other days I feel like I am treading water.  I move forward only to be blindsided and stepping back into doubt.  My trainer warned me that I am engaged in a spiritual battle like non-other that I have faced.  And when I didn't believe that this battle was real, I was reminded how fragile life and security is.  So here I am,  a new pastor on her first appointment, contemplating that God intends for the people in this area.  Repeating daily to those who are fascinated by the idea of a church without a building, "the church is not a building, the church is a people."