In The Beginning

As I begin this journey into starting a new church, I am surprised by the mixed emotions that accompany this step.  The thought of creating a church is both thrilling and terrifying at the same time.  The opportunity for failure is great and the opportunity to be blessed in a way I never even imagined is even greater.  So many people are so hopeful and encouraging and others are fearful and threatened.  Opinions fly at me from every direction while I try to cast my eyes on what God has planned.  As I pray and read, I am ever drawn into a river of "have-to's" that want to carry me in their own direction.  Forms, more forms, and even more forms have to be completed without even having any idea who we are and where our place is yet.  Some days I feel complete by the contemplation and insight I have gained and other days I feel like I am treading water.  I move forward only to be blindsided and stepping back into doubt.  My trainer warned me that I am engaged in a spiritual battle like non-other that I have faced.  And when I didn't believe that this battle was real, I was reminded how fragile life and security is.  So here I am,  a new pastor on her first appointment, contemplating that God intends for the people in this area.  Repeating daily to those who are fascinated by the idea of a church without a building, "the church is not a building, the church is a people."